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About Whitey - FAQ |
Here is a list of Frequently Asked Question we think our costumers might have about Whitey before buying his stuff:
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Q: Who is Whitey?
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- Someday, Whitey will be a doctor. Whitey was born September 1978, as a Baltimoron (you read correctly, Baltimoron). At birth, he was given the nickname Brian Welsh by his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Welsh. Whitey graduated from the University of Maryland, at College Park with a degree in Physiology and Neurobiology. Currently, he works for a militaristic group of Austrians so that he can make money to buy stuff while pursuing his lifetime dream as a Doctor of Gynecology. Although Whitey has yet to receive a PHD, he does unofficially practice doctorism (play doctor) on those less fortunate, or more precisely, ignorant.
It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words. We at Buy Y.T. believe that the picture below describes Whitey far better than a thousand words ever could:
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Q: Why should I buy his stuff?
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- Whitey has some good stuff. Now, thanks to Buy Y.T., you can buy it! Whitey sure does like his stuff, and he takes good care of it, so you know everything will be in excellent shape. You can buy Whitey's stuff at a fraction* of the price he paid, even if it's BRAND NEW.
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Q: If Whitey likes his stuff so much, why would he want to sell it?
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- It should be clear that Whitey is not selling his stuff. WE, at Buy Y.T., are selling his stuff.
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Q: Will Whitey willingly give up his all his stuff?
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- While it is true that there may be items that Whitey may not be willing to part with, we at Buy Y.T. would like to assure you that this is not a problem. Whitey is a self-proclaimed "Buddhist". His way of life is non-violent. We at Buy Y.T. have taken measures to find "Item Collectors" that are very willing to use violence if Whitey refuses to part with a hot selling item. We hope that we will never have to resort to these measures.
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Q: What is the Pmp service?
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- We at Buy Y.T. know that stuff is not everything. Sometimes, it isn't "something" that you need, but "someone". Our Personal Meeting Program (Pmp) is a service that allows you to purchase time with the people in Whitey's life.
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Q: Did Whitey really say all those things in quotes?!
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- Yes, its amazingly true. With the exception of "Welcome to Buy Y.T" (which we are currently attempting to force him to say), everything Quoted by Whitey on the Buy Y.T. page has come straight from the mouth of Whitey himself!
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Q: Is Y.T. an acronym? If so, what does it stand for?
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- Don't be dumb.
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